No Funny Business This Christmas

No Funny Business This Christmas Main
No Funny Business This Christmas Store Sign

A great seasonal addition to my Regulating Retail thread. It is general enough to bar many offenses at the judgement of store staff or management, yet not too, too strict sounding. If you’ve got to clamp down on Christmas., this is a humorous approach.

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For Regulating Retail Signs see…

No Funny Business This Christmas
Lutron® Showroom Tour in Process
Please Enter At Other End
Please Keep Children In Hand
Dr. Seuss Youer than You
Kobalt® Brands Sockets-for-Life
$4,000 ALNO You Break It You Bought It
Restroom Hand Wash Enforcement
Next Window at Weis
Warning: Weight Estimates Only
No, No, No, No – Bank Regulation
No Anything On Premises
No-Nonsense No Loitering Sign
IKEA® Stair as Staging
Target® Xmas Buck Stops Here
Spoon-Not-Included Disclaimer
No Hoodies Allowed” Retailing
Do-Not-Touch Exercise Equipment
No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem
No Cell Phone Orders
Lowes® Emergency FlipChart
Take the Stairs Elevator Advisory
No Smoked Meat on Our Menu
Flashing In-Aisle Caution Light”
Retail Ahead – Do Not Enter
Mixed Signal Welcome in Retail
Adult Content in Retail
No Smoking. Have a Mint Instead!
Return Policy Empowers Sales
You Bought It, You Own It!
Upscale Handle-With-Care Warning
All Sales Very, Very Final
Smoke Ye Not in Uncial Majuscules
No Bike Riding in Store
No Soliciting Unless Thin Mints
Unattended Child Warning
No Grazing … You Big Heifer
No Free Taste Tests
Retail Rules of Engagement
Get Off The Cell Phone, Bai-tch
Warning Door Eats Children
Mall Cops a Phone Call Away
Shoplifters Put On Stern Notice!
Handicapped Store Front Decal
Mind the Gap

For enlightened Child and Baby posts see…

No-Candy Checkout Lane Passé?
Attention: Keep Children In Hand
Don’t Forget Your Baby
Unattended Child Warning
Warning: Not a Baby Wipe
Don’t Bag the Baby

For Parking Regulations by Title see…
Color-Coded Parking Navigation
Diagonal Cart Park
Body Outline Forensics in Retail
Jeep-Only Retail Parking
Pick Card for Parking Garage
Lazy Parking?
Horse and Buggy Parking Only
Not-So-Handicapped Parking
Stupid Parking Prohibited
Don’t Hit the Fire Hydrant, Ass Hole!
Parking Signs Employ Agency Creative
Barbed Wire Boutique

For retail Hiring offers in-store see…
Macy’s Holiday Hiring Branded
Santa Can’t Do It Alone
Macy’s Employment Branded In-Store
Macy’s Hiring Tricorne

For an actual declaration of war on the unwanted see…
Anti-Homeless Spikes for Retail
Anti-Amenity: Don’t Trespass or Sit Here
Three-To-a-Bench Seating Limit

For all Regulating Retail sign resources see…
Regulating Retail with Signs Pinterest Board“ for a visual summary.
Regulating Retail Index Page” for all resources and links

Regulating Retail Pinterest Board for Retail FixturesCloseUp

For Red Fixtures resources see…
Red Fixtures Pinterest Board“ for a visual summary.
Red Fixtures Index Page” for all resources and links

Red Fixtures in Retail Pinterest Board as FixturesCloseUp

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